In no particular order:
- Sharing your two-bit clever quote that you found on someone’s blog post does not make you an ‘inspirational guru’.
- Retweeting a charity appeal or using a hashtag relating to flood victims doesn’t make you a volunteer any more than applying for 50 jobs on Monster makes you employed.
- Using hashtags like #earlyshift or #graveyardshift doesn’t make you look like you work hard, only that you are wasting time on Twitter in awkward hours.
- Hijacking 5 hashtags to promote your new blog post “I can make you an Internet millionare in 30 days” is not going to help. It still sucks and nobody will retweet it.
- Putting the words ‘expert’, ‘thought leader’ and ‘guru’ in your bio clearly indicates that you are delusional. Any ‘expert’ I know would never call themselves that, it’s for others to do.
- And retweeting Mashable and/or TechCrunch all day definitely doesn’t make you a ‘social media thought leader’. A chimp can retweet Pete Cashmore and there is nothing original about it. In fact it makes you look like a complete Twitter novice.
- Pretending that your auto-DM is a manual update by asking a question like “please tell me more about what you do, just head over to my site xyz.com and sign up first”.
- Another auto-DM: “like our Facebook Page about cat toys” – that’s not going to happen and we both know it.
- Actually owning up but having an excuse: “sorry about the auto-DM, it’s not how I normally interact with my followers”. Uhmm, ok then.
- Not following back. Sure if you’re Stephen Fry you don’t need to give a damn but when you have 15 followers and people in your industry follow you, it’s probably best to follow back if you ever want to make any new friends on Twitter.
- Protected tweets – I mean what’s that all about? The reason we’re on Twitter is that it’s a public feed. If you are looking for a platform to communicate with 4 friends, have you tried email? Or if you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re building a bomb in your basement, trust me the Federales will be wire-tapping everything that goes on your computer, protected or not.
- Not tweeting very much as you “don’t want to be annoying”. Twitter is the one place people don’t mind lots of updates from you. Keep your restraint to LinkedIn where nobody wants to hear from you more than once or twice a day.
Any more shiitake? Let me know in the comments please!